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How to learn to easily let people go: a psychologist’s advice

People often keep relations that have been gone for a long time. After all, warm memories warm the soul

and give the feeling that it can still improve. In fact, it is much more effective to learn how to let those who were once close, and open up to new experience. How to do it?

Every relationship teach us something, thanks to them we are developing. Some make us stronger and kinder, others are more careful, less trusting, and some teach us to love. However, not all people must certainly remain in our lives, no matter how pleasant the memories of them.

Friendship, as well as relations in general, undergoes natural changes throughout life. In childhood, we have many friends, and all the best. In adolescence and youth, as a rule, there is an established company, and by thirty most people come with one, proven years, the best friend, and then if you are lucky.

In the process of personality formation, a person forms his own life position, moral standards, principles and rules

And if at a certain stage, forming a close environment, you could not attach great importance to this, then with age these principles begin to manifest more and more clearly. People with other values are separated from your environment over time and go their own way.

Unfortunately, often people are afraid to sort things out, tolerate and choose the “thin world”. The reasons for that are different:

Fear to seem bad in other people’s eyes,

Fear of changes in the usual way of life,

fear of losing secondary benefit

Unwillingness to burn bridges: it’s a pity, they built so much!

It turns out that a person makes himself a hostage due to fear that he cannot or cannot cope without another. Instead of moving forward, gets stuck in an outlived relationship.

The right path is not to keep a person nearby by force, but realistically and soberly look at the existing state of affairs. You need to listen to yourself and answer the questions: how comfortable you are in this relationship? Is this person good with you? You really cannot live without this person, or is it a habit/fear/dependence?

The more honest your answer is, the faster you will understand the truth

No one is your property, everyone has their desires, goals and plans.

And if they diverge from yours, you need not to tie close to yourself, not to manipulate, do not try to redo, but let go, give him the opportunity to go his own way.

It will become easier for you and another, because you choose freedom. You can fill out the freed part of your everyday life than you want – relatives and relatives, who just miss this, work and self -realization, and even just a rest and hobby.

One way or another, it is better to disperse without mutual claims and insults, but with gratitude and respect, because you were once associated with warm relations.

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